Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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