Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
