I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
