Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
