I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
