omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
