I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
