the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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