Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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