i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
