I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
