Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
