no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
