I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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