She is in my trunk
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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