Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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