i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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