Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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