Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
