Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
