Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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