but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
how does that bad decision feel?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
