I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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