I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
