I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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