if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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