i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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