I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
