You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
