You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
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