No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
