it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
