I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
