It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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