i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
This baby is an asshole
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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