How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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