On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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