I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
