Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
