you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
