is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just google imaged poop.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
