Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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