Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
