ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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