Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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