Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
My pussy is not your playground.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
