Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize