I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
