dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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