If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
