The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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