Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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