just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
