It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
