dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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