Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
