Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
