my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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