Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
