We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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