i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
