This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
