she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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