is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
