I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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